Small Talk

Cassidy.Marie.Rose
October 26, 2011
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I was thinking today about the lost art of small talk. Someone had said they were oddly shy in the strangest of situations. That really got me thinking about how we rely so much on small talk to get us through our day. Do you notice it is the people who have mastered this strange art that seem to get ahead in life? Its not always the smartest or most qualified people who are the managers and bosses…it is the ones who are the best at small talk. I will have to say, I am not one of those people. In my mind, I go over conversations again and again, kind of like a football team goes through game plays. lets see, I almost said the right thing there…then I ran of to the left on a tangent. You can tell by the obvious confusion in the person’s eyes that I have lost them. Don’t talk about your kids..don’t. Ask about theirs..damn it.you idiot. That’s pretty much how a replay goes in my mind. I know that I am not one of those normal person…you know one of those sports replaying, real housewives watching, team Jacob kind of people. While I have working knowledge on all of these subjects, I seem to get the same blank stare in my eyes when they are brought up.  Did you ever see that episode of Tosh.0 when the Turtle Kid got a web redemption? When he was interviewed about how he liked his zombie outfit..and his response was “I like turtles”. I am the grown up version of the “I like turtles” video.

I know I am not alone…we the small talk challenged should band together for a session of awkward conversation. How do you like the zombies? I like turtles. Have you ever hung out with a group of nerds? Their voices filled with so much excitement as they discuss the hobbit to elf ratios of life? Its because when nerds get together we are happy there is someone else in our small talk challenged circles. Think of a job interview…its like small talk under the microscope. When you are small talk challenged, every conversation has the potential to feel like that. Sometimes I even feel like that when I am talking with my closest of friends. Its like I know what I want to say..but it just doesn’t want to come out right. It is a jumbled version of what I was thinking. The less I know you, the more the jumble. I have said it a couple times…but I am a better writer than talker. Here I can arrange my thoughts into how I want them to appear and even choose my topics. I don’t have to worry about the wild card factor of the other side of the conversation. Talk is overrated anyway…so when you see me with my headphones on deep in thought..tune into the blog. That is where I have my best conversations

I would like to have a little convo about my marigold paisley sweater. Yellow has become my new best friend. (we have long conversations about bananas and dandelions). Last time I paired it with a rich shade of warm purple. This time, I went with a cooler shade, peacock blue. I love the contrast of a marigold and peacock..it is a match made in jewel tone heaven. I did my pictures in a grain today. It is a representation of how small talk feels for me, not smooth but grainy. I guess the best thing I can do is try to lay off the small talk and let my color choices do the talking. What can I say? I like turtles.

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Pants/Cardi: The Limited
Shirt: Old Navy
Belt/Shoes: Target
Necklace: Charlotte Russe
Sunglasses: XOXO (Burlington Coat Factory)

No Pain No Gain

Cassidy.Marie.Rose
October 22, 2011

 I heard this interesting quote today about pain that really stuck with me. We need to be thankful for the pain in our lives because with out it we will never get stronger or wiser. If you think about it, you stick your hand in a fire, then without pain you won’t know the skin is melting off. Pain tells you to remove the rock out of your shoe that is keeping you from taking anymore steps. Pain can motivate you toward an action that could simply be to avoid future pain. Either way, we look at pain as negative all the time rather than to find any positive in it. I know there are things in my life that have caused me pain. There are things like decisions I have made or accidents that I have caused. I like to think we just climb life like a tree..sometimes we set our foot on shaky ground and sometimes we get such a good grip on another branch that we are able to climb higher. Either way, I know that sometimes I do this blog to sort out any pain I have in my life and try to climb higher. Is there pain that has caused us to grow compared to pain that we will never understand why we were made to endure? There are growing pains and loss pains and physical pain. Either way, we have pain in our life to help us to continue to grow. Today, I may have put my foot on an unsteady branch. Maybe it was the long and dreary day and the idea that winter is looming in our path. Think of all the pain our landscape goes through with winter. Everything dies only to be reborn again in the spring. So when you put your foot on that space of dead air where you think a branch is and feel the pain as your hands slip off what you are holding on to, remember that the pain will help you be a brighter spring flower. I couldn’t help but put some pics of my little monkey climbing a tree. I think kids are the most resilient to pain. They will bounce back from an upset faster and with much more grace. So maybe going into this weekend, we can all learn to be monkeys and climb trees and learn from our pain.

Liv

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You win Monday…you always win

Cassidy.Marie.Rose
October 11, 2011
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 As I sit down on my couch learning the ins and outs of Bengal kittens through the animal planet, I can’t help but feel a bit defeated. You know the day…where foot took a little more effort to move forward. These are the days when you feel especially venerable to fear and self doubt. I sometimes have a paranoid gossip monster that will occasionally whisper into my ear..as if I just walked in on a session of KJ bashing. Its the things that prevent us from moving forward. Anything I tried to do today was good…but not good enough.  I am suddenly that kid in sixth grade that was made fun for being different all over again. I have many years of insecurity under my belt. It is what has stopped me in the past from doing all these things I am finally getting around to doing. It is the antagonist to my story, the nemesis to the pursuit.

Sometimes we need to let the gossip monsters take over before we can move forward. I have to hear the words I sometimes fear I need to get my house more organized…I need to lose ten pounds..my complexion has gone full circle to when I was thirteen…I am never going to make enough money. I hear the voice of the Mom from “Carrie” ringing in my ears…”they are all going to laugh at you.” I like to let the fears swirl in my mind and let them change voice tones like cartoons. Then I let them go..do my thing and hope to hell I don’t get doused with pigs blood.

So as I sit here and learn more than any normal person needs to know about the Bengal tiger kitten…(did you know their fur becomes very fuzzy at about two weeks of age)…I think about how I spent the most part of the day being happy just to blend in with the norm. I even dressed to the minimal (in my own way of course.) I have always had this notion that khaki pants are so normal. I own two different pairs and usually am going for comfort when I put them on. The remind me more of a uniform..and after eight years of catholic school I consider myself to be pretty anti-uniform. I spent the better part of my life trying to dress to stand out. I hate the idea of looking like everyone else. I have epically failed at ways to stand out …there was tongue ring incident of 2000. But today, I must have known it was going to be a non stand out day. I put on my khakis and a navy blouse from Target on one of my many “I ran into to target to get a prescription filled and just browsed the clothes section” purchases. Which is most likely why most of my clothes are from Target…its like one stop shopping. Birth control..check..blouse..check..new earrings..check..batteries..check. I think it may be physically impossible to go to Target and not buy a little treat for myself. I love the navy blouse I bought. It has that 70s vibe with the “hide the weekend food sins” draping. I paired it with a thrift store necklace and a pair of wooden heels (also from Target).It is those days when we are tempted to put on clothes that are too big and look sloppy…just so we can avoid drawing attention to ourselves. It is important to keep cute, structured but comfy outfits in the back of our minds..the kind of thing you feel nice in..not fabulous but nice in. Today was all about structured comfort designed to raise an eyebrow rather than to wow.  I was going What can I say…Monday you got me.

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Shirt/bracelet/ Shoes: Target
Pants: The Limited
Necklace: Thrifted

ET

Cassidy.Marie.Rose
September 27, 2011

I was watching ET, and I often wonder if it is one of those movies that was better as a kid. Well, I should pause and say that I was completely terrified of it as a kid. It was the first movie that I ever saw and I still scream when ET (who looks like an upright dog sans cute floppy ears) jumps out of the woods. (children of the 80’s can I get a hell yeah!!).  I guess as a kid I never really understood the kid/alien feeling connection that I have later come to understand.

The only thing I can think of as a Mom is….I would loose it if that was my kid. Elliot is in the bubble, and living the dream that pretty much every kid I knew lived, to be BFFs with an alien. As a Mom, I wouldn’t be able to handle seeing my kids turning all chalky with their weird alien dog friend. I can picture them now in their ashy bubbles..”stay together”. Aaah…kids and aliens living in harmony. crazy. I just have to say as a Mom it never ceases to amaze me what your kids can hide from you when they set their little minds to it. I guess once you have kids, you are unable to see the glory in the things kids find so heroic, like being one with an alien.

Charlie Sheen

Cassidy.Marie.Rose
September 21, 2011

Like everyone else in the world, I have no clue what to think of Charlie Sheen. I watched the roast on Comedy Central the other day and I watched the season premier of Two and a Half Men…and I am still baffled. The roast was funny and awkward at the same time. Two and a Half Men had about two funny lines and that was it  (not that I was ever a fan of the show to begin with).

At this point you may be wondering why I even care or am bringing this up. Well, I will have to say that the whole “Charlie Sheen is winning” controversy has really sparked my interest. I cant help but wonder what the hell he is winning and what I am missing. Then I started to really wonder if i was winning.

We seem to measure every ting in terms of winning and loosing. What are we winning? What are we loosing? To take it back to the Sheen reality, the man essentially quit his job and told his boss to eff-off. Who out there wouldn’t want to do that? It is the American dream. Does he do what every other person who won something does? (if you are wondering…that is go to Disneyland). Not at all…upon claiming his victory, he goes on a hooker and crack binge. Now who is the loser. Then he goes on a comedy tour and calls himself some warrior from Mars or something. Now who has lost it? But yet, you have to admire him for sticking himself out there and not caring at all what anyone else thought.

Getting back to the idea of winning. I wonder if in my life, I am winning. On the plus side I have a wonderful family, great friends, I am damn good looking (Shout out to Richelle!!!). But, I still am on my pursuit, I haven’t told anyone to eff-off recently and I see another twenty years of college loans for two degrees I hardly use. (well i guess my Creative Writing degree is finally getting some use!). So really am I winning? Since this is more of a rhetorical question, I think I am going to keep this in the back of my mind. For now, I am on the pursuit of winning.



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